You’re in the way…

It wasn’t a very important tv show (in fact, what tv show is?), but I had invested enough minutes of my life into the act of watching it that I thought it might be nice to see the outcome.

That’s when it happened…

Just as the announcer says “And here’s the play that will go down in history as one of the greatest of all time…”, my wife comes down the stairs and, as if on cue, squares up directly in front of me and begins to speak, drowning out the announcer and obstructing the view of one of the greatest plays of all time.

There was no way to put it nicely if I wanted to catch “the greatest play.”

“You’re in the way!” I said.

I swear I heard my cat gasp.

“Excuse me?” was her reply.  The look that followed could have been filmed and included in a “Scared Straight” video.

She walked out of the room.

I did the only thing I could do at that moment… I awkwardly finished watching one of the greatest plays ever (it wasn’t so great, by the way). But then, it dawned on me…Now I’m going to have to pull off a pretty impossible play myself. Not only did I wave off her moment of spontaneous affection, I did so callously with those four vicious little words: “You’re in the way.”

Of course, my only defense was that they were spoken in frustration, I really didn’t mean anything by it and besides, wasn’t the timing funny how you walked right in front of me just as the guy was saying “here’s the greatest play…” ?

She grudgingly laughed and agreed. All is right with the world again.

Now you can see why I called my blog “HandyHumor.”

Of course, some of you might not be as adept at diffusing this kind of tricky situation. If you’d like to avoid the aforementioned scenario, my advice to you can be summed up simply with three letters:

D-V-R.